Anonymous asked

You have abs???? I imagined you would have a frail ass wizard build

  • I’m built like if Hot Topic sold scarecrows you could fuck. I’m built like a washed up pop punk lead singer. I’m built like delinquent-coded female best friend from an early 2000s comedy. I’m built like rapid onset twink necrosis.

  • customer: ... and honestly it's kind of shitty that you guys close at 4 when it said online that --

    my zweihander i keep underneath the counter beckoning to me: MY BROTHER/COME JOIN ME/IN BATTLE WE ARE STRONGER

    my hand: [involuntarily twitches toward the hilt of my blade]